There are folks who look like Phua Chu Kang, but in a bad mood. To get what you want from them, you need to speak the Singaporean vernacular – a mixture of Hokkien, Chinese, Bahasa and even vulgarities. But be prepared for the same coarse language come pelting at you, if the crushed ice and the waste water don’t. I was at the Jurong Fishery Port, the largest distribution centre for fresh fish in Singapore, on a Tuesday morning from 2am to 6am. Fortunately, I have an insider guide, Alex, the owner of a seafood stall at Tekka Market, to ease me into this kaleidoscopic scene. Through his eyes, I get to see what goes on in this “fishy business”. *The upcoming Singapore Food Festival will celebrate this “fishy” aspect of the food culture. For $150+, a chef will take you on a tour through the fishery port to learn how to pick the freshest catch, followed by a freshly prepared seafood breakfast in a restaurant. For more details visit www.singaporefoodfestival.com.sg or call 6796 9331.